Tag Archives: rape
01. Oct, 2012

Healing wounds…

Healing wounds…

People say that time heals all wounds and I believe that idea to a point. I think that the rawness of a painful situation start to lessen as each day goes by. It becomes easier to get up each morning and eventually you stop just going through the motions. One day you wake up and you realize you have made it through five minutes without your mind being wrapped up in the situation and the pain. And as life does; time marches on and somehow you begin to settle back into a routine of normalcy.  Yet the thing that always gets me is that no matter how much time has passed there will always be something that triggers your memory. It might be something simple like a song, a smell, a name, a similar looking person, a date etc., but there is always something that takes you back. Sure the emotions might not be as intense as they once were but your heart is still attached to that memory.

Six years on and no matter how hard I try I cannot forget this date. It has been imprinted into my heart whether I like it or not and it is a part of my story.  I imagine that if the last five years are any indication tonight I will struggle to sleep. I guess I wanted to write a blog tonight because though this date is hard for my heart, I am so very thankful for what God has done in my life and for me since then. My life was not ruined at the hands of a selfish man like I thought it would be. To be honest if I could, I would take the night of rape out of my story. I would rewrite the script in an instant if I was in charge. At the same time, I would not change how deep it made my relationship with God. That night challenged me in ways I would never imagine and there were some very dark times that made survival almost impossible. I guess what really pulled me through was the ray of hope that God allowed in my life. He placed a family in my life that soon absorbed me as their own and helped me fight through the muck. At some point I realized I would wake up and go through an entire day without thinking of that night.  And eventually my heart was healed, but not by time like many think. I owe my mended heart to the patience of God and of my loving family. And for that I am thankful.

55. I am thankful that God did not say yes to my broken prayer that night and that I am still here experiencing life.
56.  I am abundantly thankful for the family that He placed me in
57. I am so grateful that I no longer live in fear
58. I am thankful for God who hears my cries
59. I am grateful I can laugh again and that I am not like a zombie
60. I am thankful that I can connect with girls that have similar experiences to me

28. Jun, 2012

Think about it…

Think about it…

I just need to write quickly about something that has been bothering me for a while now. When did it become okay for us to joke about rape? One of my least favorite terms that have been deemed socially acceptable is fraped. Being fraped literally means facebook raped, which simply means someone has gotten into another person’s account and changed some things on it.

Maybe I am too sensitive but I don’t understand how it has become okay in our everyday language to causally throw around rape as though it is a joke. I can’t help but wonder if those that allow it to be a part of their vocabulary have ever thought of what they are actually saying. I can’t help but wonder if they only knew what it was like to be raped would they be throwing around the word so lightly? More often than not though, I wonder what someone who has been a victim of being raped feels when they hear someone trivialize that tragedy to a facebook term.   I am not one to hate many things but I can honestly say that I hate this trendy word. My stomach actually turns when someone uses it, followed by the laughter of others.  I guess for me though it hits a little too close to home for comfort. I have been a victim of sexual assault and for me being raped is all too real. Thus coining a term for someone invading your privacy on the internet as relatable to the invasion you feel when raped sickens me.

The internet is not the real world, and if someone has had their facebook messed with, I guarantee they will survive. They will quickly log in and restore order to their profile.  Whereas, if a person has been raped, their life will not be fixed with just a click of a button. They will fight to get their life back to some sense of normalcy for a long time after the attack. They will never be the same again. The idea that a violent crime such as rape can be somehow diluted to a joking matter is sad and makes me wonder about the world we live in. I’m not trying to stand on a soap box; I guess I am just asking people to consider what the effects  their words might have on others.

Here’s a final thought found in Ephesians 4:29-31, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another and sensitive.”