Apr 05

The Impossible Gap

by in Peppa

I’m sitting here tonight in something called the “impossible gap.”  This is a term I first heard coined by Christine Caine in one of her talks at Sistas.  The “impossible gap” is where it is not possible for humans to accomplish something, so God steps into the gap and does His thing to make the impossible, possible. I’ve been in this gap since the beginning of the year and there are a couple of things I have noticed while waiting here.

The first is this crazy idea people seem to have that if you are emotional, then obviously you are not trusting God enough. I have heard these words quite a few times as my emotions roll to the surface more frequently since being in this gap. I want to make it very clear here that I TRUST God and I fully believe that He has my future sorted. It says in His Word that He has plans to give me a future and a hope, plans for good and not for destruction (Jeremiah 29:11). All I have to do is look back at my life and see the ways God has sorted out my paths to be assured that He will take care of me once again in this unknown. I know that every day of my life has already been recorded in His book (Psalm 139:16) and I have no doubt that my current situation is not a surprise to Him. My heart knows without a shadow of a doubt that God has my future already sorted. That being said, I want to point out that I live in an emotional and physical body.  There will be times that I appear more emotional than others and will probably cry in those moments, NOT because I don’t trust God but because my heart hurts. I don’t think it is very Biblical to assume that someone has lost faith in God simply because they appear upset.  Jesus was emotional while He was here on earth. He got angry, felt compassion, was moved by the people He encountered, and He wept.  For example when Lazarus had died, Jesus wept because His heart was breaking for the people affected by Lazarus’ death. Jesus wept and He KNEW that He would be raising Lazarus from the dead very soon. He knew the end of the story and yet tears rolled down His cheeks.

I have no idea what God is planning for this next season in my life and I am okay with that.  But there will be days that my heart is tender and broken and I will need to weep, not because I doubt God but rather because my heart needs a release and to connect with God in that brokenness.  “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle. You have recorded each one in Your book.” (Psalm 56:8) I just want people to understand that in my tears I am still believing God but that in that moment I need to cry. I need to be allowed to be broken and to hear God speak in that moment and place of brokenness because I believe He will meet me there. I don’t want to miss what He desires for me to hear in that place because I am too afraid that people will think less of my faith for crying.

The second thing I have noticed while waiting in this gap is how people try desperately to fix my problem for me. I can assure you that up to this point I have done everything I know to do in regards to immigrations. I have jumped through so many hoops and gone through so much paperwork that it could make a person’s head spin.  I have listened intently to people’s ideas as I have asked for advice. But there came a time when there was nothing more for me to try, it was time for me to wait and see what God was going to do.   No matter which way I look at this situation the gap is impossible. For me to stay in New Zealand is impossible, but for me to go back to the States is also impossible.  Either way God has to show up and make the impossible, possible. I’m not giving up or throwing in the towel, rather I am trying to get out of the way and allow God to move. I refuse to get caught up in this idea that I will make something happen, that there is some piece of paper I can show someone that will make them decided to do things my way. If I could achieve it myself, then why would I need God? I am choosing in this moment to wait and see what God has in store. Not because I’m lazy but because I think He has something awesome on the horizon and no matter where I end up, I’m going to stand back and be amazed. So thank you for your help and input, I know people are trying to help.  But honestly right now I think your prayers are the best thing you can offer me and open ears when I need to cry because I have a feeling there will be a lot of tears as I wait in this gap.

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2 Responses to “The Impossible Gap”

  1. From Terri Sweetland:

    Bravo, girl!

    Posted on 06. Apr, 2013 at 10:25 am #
  2. From Grandma Stark:

    Praying with you, Peppa.

    Posted on 07. Apr, 2013 at 2:21 pm #

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