Oct 01

Healing wounds…

by in Peppa

People say that time heals all wounds and I believe that idea to a point. I think that the rawness of a painful situation start to lessen as each day goes by. It becomes easier to get up each morning and eventually you stop just going through the motions. One day you wake up and you realize you have made it through five minutes without your mind being wrapped up in the situation and the pain. And as life does; time marches on and somehow you begin to settle back into a routine of normalcy.  Yet the thing that always gets me is that no matter how much time has passed there will always be something that triggers your memory. It might be something simple like a song, a smell, a name, a similar looking person, a date etc., but there is always something that takes you back. Sure the emotions might not be as intense as they once were but your heart is still attached to that memory.

Six years on and no matter how hard I try I cannot forget this date. It has been imprinted into my heart whether I like it or not and it is a part of my story.  I imagine that if the last five years are any indication tonight I will struggle to sleep. I guess I wanted to write a blog tonight because though this date is hard for my heart, I am so very thankful for what God has done in my life and for me since then. My life was not ruined at the hands of a selfish man like I thought it would be. To be honest if I could, I would take the night of rape out of my story. I would rewrite the script in an instant if I was in charge. At the same time, I would not change how deep it made my relationship with God. That night challenged me in ways I would never imagine and there were some very dark times that made survival almost impossible. I guess what really pulled me through was the ray of hope that God allowed in my life. He placed a family in my life that soon absorbed me as their own and helped me fight through the muck. At some point I realized I would wake up and go through an entire day without thinking of that night.  And eventually my heart was healed, but not by time like many think. I owe my mended heart to the patience of God and of my loving family. And for that I am thankful.

55. I am thankful that God did not say yes to my broken prayer that night and that I am still here experiencing life.
56.  I am abundantly thankful for the family that He placed me in
57. I am so grateful that I no longer live in fear
58. I am thankful for God who hears my cries
59. I am grateful I can laugh again and that I am not like a zombie
60. I am thankful that I can connect with girls that have similar experiences to me

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